How to save electricity by reading in the dark

1. Get large-print books (Don't buy - recycle! Borrow them off old ladies who've gone gaga)
2. Always wear very dark sunglasses in day-time
3. Eat more carrots

   Dan with bottle of special biofuel

4. Practice reading in shadow, then twilight, slowly leading up to full darkness. Over the years your eyes will get bigger and bigger, like Gollum.
   
5. Try to blink less
   
6. Drink only carrot juice
   
7. Print out this page (recyclable)
   
8. Go into a cellar and turn off all lights
   
   
9. Hi there! Can you read this?
   
   
10. If you can go to step 11
    
    If you can't go back to step 2 (turn on lights first)
    
    
    
11. Well done. Now remove all light bulbs and crush them to avoid falling into temptation and sin